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User blog:BeMySomeone/Talking Through What Went Down Recently
Okay, I'm back. I wasn't "hiding" or avoiding the wiki for the last couple of days. I had no idea what was going on until someone updated me via facebook. I was actually on vacation in Niagara Falls and heard about what happened involving me earlier today. I just got home, so I can finally put in my two sense. For everyone calling me a racist, honestly cut it out. I'll admit I've said/done racist things in the past. I was a 16 year old uneducated white kid living in a predominantly white neighborhood. It wasn't until BLM really took off last year that I educated myself about those kinds of things. I did post something showing my support for #AllLivesMatter when it first came out because I thought there was nothing demeaning about it. It wasn't until I understood what it really meant that I revoked my support and started using #BlackLivesMatter instead. Check my facebook, check my twitter, check all my social media accounts and you'll see my frequent use of this hashtag and support for the black community, especially in these last few troubling weeks. I promise you guys, I am NOT racist. I found it very upsetting that the word was being thrown at me and I wasn't even around to explain myself until now. I'm going to explain all of the controversial things brought up about my series, Clearwater. I don't mean this to sound demeaning, but most of the people talking shit about it have never given the time of day before and their points are all very uneducated and mislead. Reading a few pages of my wiki and finding things you deem racist without having the full story is not enough to have the audacity to come and call me a racist. So now I'll go through all of the points and explain myself and I really hope you listen to what I'm saying and not just ignore it because your mind is set on me being a racist. I will be calling people out directly on what they said, not to be rude or cause problems, but to make sure I hit everything that was said about me. Ari/Michi, you said that a white person writing about a black person hating their skin color is racist. Now, the original setup for this series was for me to be writing about what happened in my own social circle/school and the characters would all be dramaticized versions of people in my own life. I ended this after the second season and just started to write my own storylines and what not, but a friend of mine who is black mentioned to me how he hated being black in the city we lived in because almost everyone here is white and doesn't understand/is insensitive to him due to his skin color. This really hit me hard and made me want to write about it. That is where this storyline came from. I didn't one day just say "let's make this character hate themselves cuz they're black lol." It's meant to be a realistic storyline about how society can turn you against yourself. And maybe I am a white guy writing this, but at least I'm fucking talking about it and not pretending these issues don't exist. CJ, you mentioned how it was insensitive to make this storyline a sub-plot and not the main focus. If you checked on my wiki, the sixth episode of this season focuses on this storyline. This was simply a setup plot. I also have this arc planned to continue over the course of the season and not just end after 2 episodes since I thought it was important enough to make one of the big storylines of the season. Michi, I would like to apologize for the storyline with Brittany where she has a BDSM relationship with an older white man. This storyline came up because my friend at the time (who was black) had this exact thing with an older white man and she deemed herself his "slave," called him master, etc. Being 15 at the time, I didn't understand how racist this really was despite happening in real life. I don't want to make excuses for myself as this was very bad, but I'm 18 now and much more educated. Bringing up the 21 pilots comments I made, I apologized for that a long ass time ago. I saw people trashing my favorite band at the time and it set me off. I thought this was a thing of the past, but I suppose not. And to say that I don't care about these topics/care about the victims of the recent shooting is utter bullshit. You haven't spoken one word to me since joining this wiki, Michi. So to pretend like you know anything about me at all is literal bullshit. Rob, I know we've had our problems in the past, so I know why you automatically thought the worst of me, I get it. I think you're a great guy, Rob. I hope you don't see this as me grasping for straws, but actually explaining these misconceptions about me. I hate hate hate that you think I'm racist (along with many others on this wiki) because if you knew me in real life, you would know I'm far from it. Maybe a bit uneducated at times (especially before I was 17 and a lot of this stuff was created). But not anymore. Red, I always put trigger warnings when I deem them needed. I didn't think it was needed here since no child abuse was shown, but I was wrong. Ari, if you really looked into Tripp's storyline so far, you would have seen that in his little time as a regular, he's been poked fun at for being a tutor because he's black, the girl he like's father won't let her date him because he's black. These things led to him wanting to have the BLM protest. His loathing comes from not fitting in because he's a black kid in a mostly white city. Also, don't you dare come at Nick who was a friend just trying to lay some of the heat off of me. I will take all the blame and I don't want anyone sending shit his way. You said "The message you portrayed: everything would be easier if you were white. You could get any girl you want if you were white. You could avoid stereotypes if you were white." That couldn't be farther from the truth. The message portrayed (Not in this specific episode, but as the storyline progresses) is that you simple have to love yourself. Tripp ends up loving himself and his skin color by the end of this storyline and this is literally the setup plot. And that storyline involving Brittany ended ages ago. She is a strong black character who doesn't apologize for who she is and even led a feminist rally against unfair dress codes last season. Brittany is one of the most prominent and developed characters on my series. After having a gun to her face by her stalker, she went off the rails, became very promiscuous (ie: the BDSM relationship) but very quickly became stronger and one of the most responsible characters on this series. Sarah, I just want wanted to let you know how disappointed and hurt I am by you. We've been friends ever since I joined this wiki and I thought by now you would know I'm not a terrible person and not believe what people say the second you hear it. Maybe instead of jumping on the bandwagon, you could have come to me and try to get my side like a good friend should. Guess not. I don't want to call you out, I'm just very hurt by you. I hope I covered everything. I really hate that people are slandering this series they know nothing about when I've put so much fucking time and effort into it. I hope you guys believe me when I tell you I am in no way, shape, or form a racist and understand some of the explanations I made regarding some of my past behavior. I'm willing to discuss and talk out everything and mend these friendships. I'll be in chat all night if you want to talk or we can just talk here. You guys know me, I hope what happened here doesn't change how you perceive me. -Derek Category:Blog posts